The Mother: An Ordinarily Subtle Reflection
Considering the Mother archetype, her ordinariness, and the subtle manner in which she exists and causes the existence of another
I found this writing in a folder titled “New Work” from 2020. Pieces I wrote after submitting my first collection of work to be published.
It’s fascinating to read this (and edit it a bit) today, February 11, 2025…five years later.
I hope it allows you to contemplate something so ordinary as “mother” a little more deeply than you’ve considered her before.
Friday, February 28, 2020
Last night I listened to Alain de Botton speak about (my words here) the importance, beauty, and grace of living an “ordinary life.”
“How empowering and peaceful this style of living feels,” I thought to myself. There is no shame, but rather beauty, in living, pursuing the ordinary life.
Ordinary, or…normal, commonplace; without special or specific characteristics…like waking up on a sunny, slow, peaceful Sunday morning.
As I thought about “ordinary” for a bit, my mind led me to consider “subtlety.”
Subtle, or…muted, ultra-fine, precise; complex, in a delicate manner…like breathing, it’s so subtle we don’t even have to think about it or tell our bodies to do it to keep us alive.
When we experience the ordinariness of life, we hold the capacity to experience the subtlety of our presence, true joy, real peace.
In our ordinariness we have the ability to experience the subtle joys and beauty of each day, each moment.
Mother Nature, in her inherent design, is the divine manifestation of subtle ordinariness.
Imagine…
the most delicate of blooms in summer…
a trickle of rain from clouds above…
the magnificent detail in each unique snowflake…
Each of these subtitles manifest because of the ordinariness of nature.
Mother Nature doesn’t interfere with
or manipulate in the subtle,
ordinary manifestation of all things.
She leaves life to develop and
flourish as nature does best…
In its own subtly ordinary way,
all in divine time.
Contemplating Mother…Questions, Inquires
So…in the bigger picture of ordinary, subtle, and the divine perfection of a completely subtle and ordinary Mother Nature…
Why would we and how do we reinvent ourselves as Mother, a mother molded and modeled after the subtly ordinary Mother Nature?
From single, married, coupled, career-minded, home-minded…to human giver of life, creator of a child or children?
We tap into the wisdom of the Universe, the collective unconscious, the Unmoved Mover.
The ultimate model is there, subtly hidden in the commonplace, day-to-day environments and activities we move in and through our entire lives.
…Mother Nature…Eve…Mary…vessels…forests…nests…burrows…waves…fountains…meals…hands and arms…
What do we care to sacrifice?
To be the Mother, we give up life to give life.
Are we fully prepared to surrender in order to give? And if so, how do we give in a way that is right, fair, loving, fulfilling, supportive, and “good” for the child?
And this Good-Enough Mother1 – who is she?
There’s more than one way to be a good Mother. But still, who is she?
Must you consider the soul of the child
to determine who you become
as the Mother?
YES, of course!
The soul of the child dictates how you mother, what the child needs. Is the child delicate in spirit and in need of courage? Is the child strong-willed and excited by the challenges you allow to be presented in the first 18 years of life?
We attach to the child. We open our hearts, rip out a portion of our own Soul, and give it to the Child. We give to be the Mother. The attachment is a delicate dance – the ultimate dance of creation, love, and gentle, subtle, kind giving.
But still, how do we access this level of ultimate giving on a daily basis? This ultimate loving?
Maybe it takes a mind-shift, a bit of foresight, or divine timing.
It does require a surrender or letting go, a release of…old patterns, old ways of relating to an unkind and unforgiving world. Because, as Mother, we are the birthplace and originator of the ordinary, subtle gift of presence and flowing peace for our Child.
Being Mother requires yoga…a union of your divine and ordinary self to that of the divine and ordinary self of your Child.
Ordinary is a Missing Puzzle Piece
When you are open and accepting of all that is ordinary, you can see and feel the joy…the tiny, subtle things…the bliss in a smile, in a laugh, in a quick sprint across the lawn.
Without accepting and acknowledging the ordinary, the moment you are presently in, you may miss the joy…the divine bliss and gift of being Mother.
To make the transition to a present, ordinarily subtle Mother, it is wise to remember…
Your Child met with the same Unmoved Mover you met with before undertaking your journey on Earth.
Your Child chose you, the Mother, for a reason…to fulfill and complete their divine purpose as a human on Earth.
While unbeknownst to either of you in this moment…your Child’s purpose will reveal itself as time, events, circumstances, skills of the child unfold and manifest…
To be the Mother, like Mother Nature, allow for the Child’s natural, divine state to evolve and develop, like the delicate unfolding of a rose on a warm summer morning…
Mother your Child and find divine delight,
joy, peace in the ordinariness
of your subtly unfolding bloom.
Final thoughts…
Thank you for following along with these thoughts about the beautiful, powerful, ordinary, subtle archetype, The Mother.
For any of the questions or inquiries posed above, you may like to take a few moments to consider your answers, your ideas around the Mother.
Being a Mother has been the greatest joy of my life. My little lady is just the most wonderful little thing on the planet! I’m grateful every day that she chose me!
xoxo
Michelle
Some Resources for You
The School of Life ~ Alain de Botton
Donald D. Winnicott
Two Books:
The Child, The Family and the Outside World
Winnicott on the Child
The good enough mother was conceptualized and written extensively by Donald W. Winnicott, English pediatrician and psychoanalyst. I highly recommend his books - especially to new mothers with babies.